How to return to work from maternity leave (in time of/after a pandemic)

It’s been 8 months since I first returned to work from maternity leave and 2021 is coming to an end so I’d been reflecting a lot.

I can’t believe I now have a 14-month-old, her name’s Charlie! My parents were supposed to travel to the UK from the Philippines last April to meet their granddaughter for the first time and help us with looking after her for 6 months. However, a week before their flight, the Philippines was put on the red list, due to the Covid 19 pandemic and they couldn’t travel. This means that we needed to adapt and quickly switch to plan B, which was to send Charlie to nursery. She was only 6 months old, and I was worried that she was too young. She’s exclusively breastfed, we had only just introduced baby-led weaning and I felt she wasn’t ready for it. I for sure wasn’t ready for it. This happened 2 weeks before I was going back to work from maternity leave.

And this was us 2 weeks later juggling childcare and work as we needed to isolate after staff in Charlie’s nursery tested positive for Covid. We were fortunate to have flexible working arrangements in the Civil Service and I had a very supportive team. Friends and families have offered help too.

(Photo of me attending a virtual meeting and carrying my little one in a sling while she’s asleep)

I asked colleagues on social media and spoke to other mums about how they successfully returned to work after maternity leave. The transition from being a new parent to a full-time or part-time employee has always brought challenges but throwing the pandemic into the mix has made this transitional period even harder for new parents to navigate.

Some of the top tips that helped with returning to work desks (or sofas, dining tables and home offices) after having a baby were:

Be kind to yourself. Your life has changed dramatically. “You will be tired, frustrated, and full of self-doubt.” It’s an emotional time. Learn to accept that it might take a good few weeks even months to get back to the swing of things, so take each day as it comes.

Get in touch with work early. If you like, ask your manager for a weekly catch-up before going back to work, talk about current work in the team/office etc. It will prepare your mind for going back to work through having those discussions. It will also help you feel included and up to speed.

Go hands free (kind of). The top 3 things that I highly recommend you get and that I found invaluable, not only when you return to work but life with a baby are: (1) Baby carrier/sling. Not only is it great for you and your baby’s wellbeing, but those who use a carrier/sling find it easier to carry on their normal daily activities. (2) Portable double electric/hands-free breast pump. If you don’t want to be tethered to a plug socket while you pump, look for a pump that can run off batteries or a rechargeable power pack. Double pumping is twice as fast as single pumping so it can save you a few minutes. (3) Breast pump bustier. You can easily express milk with a double electric breast pumps and by wearing a bustier it’ll keep your hands free so that you can do other things whilst pumping. Make sure you find one that is compatible with your breast pump. The last two will make your breastfeeding journey a little smoother.

Try a phased return. Ask for a couple of gentle weeks to get used to doing your work hours again. Make sure you discuss with your manager work life balance. Explicitly acknowledge it’s a transition period. Even add it to your personal development plan. If you have leave to use, maybe take 1 day a week off to spend time with your little one and it may help phasing your return to work.

Set boundaries with work. Have an open and early discussion with your manager about expectations for your first few weeks back at work, especially if childcare is likely to be an issue due to the pandemic. If you’re working from home (wfh), set up a workspace that is both comfortable and practical. It’s not always possible but try to find a space that is separate from where you eat, sleep, take your breaks and relax in the evening to create a sense of distance between working and relaxing.

Feel all the feels. You will feel sad when returning to the office as you will be separated from your little one, but you’ll enjoy an uninterrupted meal/cuppa, and you’ll appreciate adult chats. Enjoy the little freedom it brings. You will feel guilty being a working mum. Mum guilt is a big thing. Don’t ignore your feelings, acknowledge it but bear in mind that, just like the ages and stages of your new little one, this too shall pass. I find journaling or talking to my other half and or friends comforting.

Plan in advance (if possible). Think about your new routine. A to do list will be handy. Create meal plans. Even prep some freezer food if you can, so when you get home, you can have all the cuddles that you missed and not worry about making dinner. Openly discuss with partners sharing tasks at home or communicate what may be beneficial for both of you. Trust me, a little organisation goes a long way.

Looking back, we have booked Charlie’s place in nursery a year in advance, we fell in love with it at first sight. We needed it 6 months early and we were lucky that they have space. Their staff guided and supported us with the transition. At first I thought Charlie was too young to go to nursery but it meant that she’s introduced early to an environment that helps her to learn social behaviours and skills and more. She loves it there. They treated Charlie like family and I couldn’t thank them enough.

Reach out. It’s OK to ask for a bit of extra help from your mum, best friend or neighbour (especially for those first couple of weeks back). Even join a parent network at work or in your community if there is one. Support from the parenting tribe is invaluable and is so important.

If you feel you need advise with your mental health, speak to your partner, a trusted adviser, your GP or even your manager. You are not alone. There’s a lot of support available out there. Reach out.

Prioritise self-care. The old adage, you can’t pour from an empty cup is true. As much as you can — and without making “self-care” a stressful part of your to-do list, find small ways to nurture your body and mind. Getting a massage, doing walking meetings or even having a bath to relax can do wonders.

Last but not the least, do not be afraid to voice what you want in life and in your career. We don’t stop becoming our own person with our own ambitions when we have children. We can still have what we want out of our career at whatever pace it suits us.

Going back to work after maternity leave can be stressful, guilt inducing and exciting all at once. Like most life transitions, returning to work was rife with mixed emotions. It is a process. It definitely made me realise I needed to redefine the expectations I had for myself, within the context of my new normal and adjusting to the world’s new normal in time of/after a pandemic. So always remember, to cut yourself some slack 😊